Bailey Craig on Shame
Do you ever feel the hot sting of shame? Ever feel that you're not enough, you'll never be enough? You're not alone. My name is Bailey Craig and I've wrestled with shame for years.
Shame grips you, makes you want to shrink away and cower in your pitiful ugliness, in your past sins and mistakes. It whispers you don't belong. You'll never belong.
That's where I am--knowing I don't belong. Knowing that no matter how put together I look on the outside, no matter how confident I may appear, inside I'm suffocating and scared. The past lingers and the shame remains. Reminding me of what I've done, of who I used to be.
Leave it to Dani to make me face it. At least I'm not alone. Bethany is suffering too, only at Katie's hands.
I wonder how Dani and Katie would feel if we brought up the things that cause them shame. Would they really make us faces our pasts? Would Dani really bring me face-to-face with my shame and the one person it wounded most?
I doubt it, but here I am, about to face my fears and the overwhelming burn of shame. I pray I make it through. Pray I don't yearn to shrivel away when my past catches up with me.
How about you? Do you ever wrestle with shame?
Missed last week's post on Facing Your Fears? Click here.